19/03/10
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I wish I could feel differently but I can’t. I hate being on customer site. It’s like I have to put on a show – it’s like being on stage and I don’t actually relax at all.
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As a result I am tired; exhausted. Even with my colleagues I feel it is a show.Of course, it doesn’t help that my private life remains so private. But that’s my choice really.
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Customers are even worse from that point of view. They talk about their family, their houses, their vacations; I don’t. It’s not because I am fearful of letting something slip because I don’t really care that much, it’s just that it makes it all such hard work.
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So I feel more alone and the show becomes a 24 hour thing for however many days it is. Not that most people would care one way or another but, you know ……
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Still today is the last day. Tomorrow there is only the flight back and then I am free. I am free and able to be with the man I love and the dogs.
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I am so looking forward to that.